Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
