i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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