i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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