She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sext me about skeletons
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
