we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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