is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
