You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
