you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
