I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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