Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
