she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
