Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
