Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
