you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there was a trapeze. enough said
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
