One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize