Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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