I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
