She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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