Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
