I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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