im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
should my penis look like a turkey
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
