He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
