Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
