Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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