TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
