btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
