During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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