I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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