If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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