There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
