this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
