There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
