Kiss
Puke
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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