Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
