My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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