Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
