I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
