I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
