Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
