Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
