5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
bring money and cleavage
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
