She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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