why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
