I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
