never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
