Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
