No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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