just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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