So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
