you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
