Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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