i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
